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The alarm goes off at 5:30 am: this is as late as I can get away with. There is no time to hit the snooze button or just lie there for a minute – if I hit the snooze button or stay lying in bed for even just a little bit longer, chances are I’ll fall back asleep.
So I get up and get the coffee-maker going. The first cup of coffee in my hand, I sit down with my laptop and check what’s been going on in the world while I was asleep.
At 5:48 or thereabouts, I realize that I still need to take a shower, wash and dry my hair, get dressed in a respectable manner, and get my lunch packed – at this point, I have 32 minutes for all that. I start rushing. I forget to put in my very pretty new earrings (which my son helped me pick) and regret that later.
I leave the house (most mornings, my two guys are still sleeping) at 6:20 and walk to the bus station. Then I catch the train into Hamburg at 6:52. I manage to grab a seat because my tactics are ruthless. I may get my laptop out and do some work or writing. After another train (the S-Bahn) and bus ride, I arrive at work at 8:00. I check my calendar for the day if I haven’t already done that on my iphone during the train ride.
The day goes by with very long meetings, typing up and circulating minutes for the more important ones of those, getting ever more familiar with the diplomacy and politics involved in this big international project, having discussions with co-workers on how to organize the many different things that need to be done for the project and setting up the company, actually doing those things, coming up with more ideas, being frustrated with slow or ineffective progress and pleased when something comes together – and constantly adding to my to do list.
Most days, I leave the office just after 5:00 pm to catch the bus, S-Bahn, train and bus that take me back home just before 7:00 pm. On the ride, I do some work and try to tune everything out around me, especially those really loud and annoying conversations. I have dinner with my husband and son, we chat, goof around, and talk about how the day went. After dinner, I quickly check my son’s homework. Then he goes to bed and I read him a story. We talk a bit more, then he falls asleep.
My husband and I chat a bit, wrap up some more stuff that needs to be done in the household, maybe I get to do some writing. Often I do a little more work. Relatively early, we go to bed so we can catch enough sleep for the next day. I lie there for a bit, wondering whether I have ‘done enough’, whether my son is really ok with me having so little time for him during the week, and whether I will ever get caught up on my to do list. Or will ever be able to fit more running into my schedule again. And whether I can or should be able to afford a car for my commute.
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My husband gets up at around 6:30 and gets ready for the day. He packs our son’s breakfast snack and makes sure he has all of his stuff for school. Then he wakes my son up and tries to make him get dressed without major drama.
At 7:40, the two get on their bicycles and ride to school. The class starts at 8:00. Straight from the elementary school, my husband goes to his German lessons – 4 hours a day, 5 days a week – where he gets thoroughly confused by that awful German language together with people of all ages from Iran, Irak, Afghanistan, Hungary, Brazil, Russia, Thailand, …all over. During break, he has a quick coffee and a chat with one of the guys from Irak and one from Iran, and they find out that they pretty much think the same about Dubya and Cheney. Thank goodness they’re gone.
Back in class, he gets a little bit of help with the exercise from the Hungarian lady sitting next to him, who has already been in Germany a little longer and whose German is better. During the next break, there are delicous cookies baked by the Hungarian lady. Tomorrow, promises the Russian lady, she will bring cake. The competition is on.
When he gets home, my husband does what needs doing in the household: laundry, cleaning, shopping. Maybe he has time to go for a bike ride. He does his homework. Then it’s already time to pick our son up from school. If it’s a Thursday, the two go to football – otherwise, they come home and play. Some days, our 8 year old upstairs neighbour comes down to play – she doesn’t speak English, but they manage to communicate. If necessary, our son translates. Often they play ‘school’, and she is the teacher.
It’s not too long before I am home.
I feel worn out reading this, Steffi! Are our lives like this now because of technology – rapid communications, barriers being removed, leading to demands for everything to be done quicker, etc? I don’t know – I feel sometimes that one works just as hard but more and more has to be packed in. From your post you sound very driven, you have such a long day and you are still working on the train on the way home. When I am on the train I force myself to read a book or something to try to relax- but I usually fall asleep. When I do work on the train I remain alert- probably one’s adrenalin levels are much higher when doing work and so the ability to “switch off” becomes harder and harder. As you describe your evenings here, you don’t have any energy to do much – Since I had children can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been out (non-work) in the evenings during the week (not much more at weekends) and one of them is leaving for college any minute! What to conclude from all this? I don’t know, I haven’t been very good at it all, but try to get some time to live a life outside “work, domestic duties, and being exhausted by both”. (Easy to say, and I’d be the first to admit I’ve failed at that.)
Just saw this: Confess your symptoms of information overload and addiction. Guardian tech blog. So true.
From your post you sound very driven
The really crazy thing is that I often still feel that I have not done enough! I am sure that this is a psychological condition and that there must be a name for it.
I don’t know whether our lives are harder – my mother has this fantastic photograph of my great-grandmother and her friend hanging over her kitchen table, both taking a break at the edge of a field, very early 20th century. They look over 60 on the picture, but were in their early 40s. They look happy though (but I don’t know what was in that bottle one of them is holding).
Last weekend was fantastic in a really crazy way: birthday party with 13 kids aged 2.5 to 10 with pirate treasure hunt on Saturday, Big Important Meeting in Berlin on Sunday (back late). At one point during the meeting, I checked whether I had successfully brushed the dirt from the day before out from under my fingernails…
Yes, I do think that is the symptom of being driven – never feeling you have done enough.
The pirates sound great fun, and a marvellous antidote! (dirt and all!)
Phew – I’m with Maxine, your day sounds exhausting (as does your husband’s). It’s amazing how much “stuff” we have to do these days. I find technology really does not help, because we’re constantly in communication with work…which means we work from our laptops at any opportunity, or feel guilty if don’t respond to that quick email. It’s a burden to be “plugged in” all the time.
…and then there are ‘e-mail tactics’ – sending strategic e-mails early in the morning or late at night, showing everyone how hard you work…
Ha, I don’t think it’s tactics, but I often send emails last thing at night and first thing in the morning! First thing in the morning, before I leave my bed (~6am) I check all my emails and send out any important ones, that way I feel I can relax a little (and watch the news) while I eat breakfast, pack lunch and get ready. Last thing at night because then I know I can relax at home before I go to bed, then clear my mind of any niggling issues so I can actually sleep (sometimes!). I so rarely have time to actually send emails in the day either, so this works well for me and helps me to have those moments to relax. Technology definitely doesn’t help – I love it when I go camping, no phone, no emails, no nothing. But admit as soon as the end of the trail is in sight, my brain is back on to all the things I should have done while away, i’ve been known to check my emails in the car on the way home! Great to see this little peek into your world Steffi!
i’ve been known to check my emails in the car on the way home
Well, I hope someone else was driving.
Welcome (again) to my blog, Rhian :)
“Well, I hope someone else was driving”
- he he, sometimes…….or I pull over……..the curse of the iPhone…….:0)
I check in on you regularly…:0) Your post here has inspired me to do a “day in the life” for a week on my blog, as most days, at the end of the day, I just wonder where the hell my day went?!? Might help me be more efficient in my day too, we’ll see!