Just how annoying is Luke Skywalker? Man, I’d like to fetch him one across the self-righteous chops. And this whole rebellion schtick? Just what’s going on there? I mean, you’ve got a galaxy with peace and order and what seems to be thriving economies on planets with no apparent means of support or trading advantages; different races, hell, different species seem to be able to mix and get on with each other—and the crime that does occur seems to be various lowlifes working it out between themselves. So a bunch of crazy mixed-up kids decide to start blowing things up, it’s hardly any wonder the government’s going to get a little bit pissed off.
I sat with the Younger Pawn on my knee as we watched yet another ludicrous light-fight, saying things like ‘No Sophie, I am your father’ and ‘it is your den sity’.
We suddenly realized that I am Darth Vader, and you can work out the implications for yourself. Just to help you, here’s a typical day in the office:
SCENE 4 INT SCIENCE NAVIGATION GROUP – RECEPTION
The f1000 Chief Editor, Merkin Jeremy, a tall, confident technocrat,
strides through the assembled coders to the base of the north elevator.
The coders snap to attention; many are uneasy about the new arrival.
But the f1000 editor stands arrogantly tall.
The door of the elevator opens with a WHOOSH, revealing only
darkness. Then, heavy FOOTSTEPS AND MECHANICAL BREATHING. From this
black void appears rpg, Information Architect. rpg looks over the
assemblage as he walks down the ramp.
Merkin Jeremy: rpg, this is an unexpected pleasure. We’re honored by your presence.
Information Architect: You may dispense with the pleasantries, Editor. I’m here to put you back on schedule.
The editor turns ashen and begins to shake.
MJ: I assure you, rpg, the developers are working as fast as they can.
IA: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
MJ: I tell you, this website will be in beta as planned.
IA: The Chairman does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.
MJ: But he asks the impossible. I need more pizza.
IA: Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives.
MJ (aghast): The Chairman’s coming here?
IA: That is correct, Editor. And he is most displeased with your apparent lack of XML.
MJ: We shall double our efforts.
IA: I hope so, Editor, for your sake. The Chairman is not as forgiving as I am.
LATER
Chairman: As you can see, my young apprentice, Elsevier has failed. Now
witness the XML of this fully beta-tested and operational website.
into comlink
Publish at will, Editor.
It’s going to be a long, hard week.
Through the magic of the blog management window, Jenny meant to say
<giggle>
but this blasted platform is broken. When are we getting MT4, again?
(thanks Jenny!)
You can’t use your mind tricks on me, Jedi.
For obvious reasons.
He’s not the paleontologist you’re looking for.
His lack of fossils disturbs me.
Merkin Jeremy…?
The cove’s name in the script is Moff Jerjerrod. My train of thought ran away.
Ah, now it makes sense. You demonstrated the power of your fully operational website by taking out Easternblot.
I always was under the impression that the Star Wars universe was an allegory for the fight of the fascist system vs monarchy, where it turns out in the end that both were the same.
I always wondered how a single, mortally-wounded fighter could take out a Super Star Destroyer. It’d be like a Sopwith Camel crashing into the bridge of the Nimitz.
Bob, always two there are, a server and a client.
I always wondered how a single, mortally-wounded fighter could take out a Super Star Destroyer.
Chaos theory no doubt.
One mortally-wounded fighter flaps its wings, one Super Star Destroyer explodes.
Is it a simple one-one relationship, do you think?
More research needed. Shall we write a grant?
Shall we write a grant?
[in appropriately whiny voice:]
But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!
/geek
You don’t know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your ’net access.
Richard, someone likes you. Even if it is only a spammer.
Genius Lord Information Architect. Now, neutralize that spammer…
One of my fave Star Wars parodies (don’t watch if you’re a 9/11 fanaticist)
I don’t know to embed video…where’s MT4
We don’t need their scum here.
Can I flag this entire comment stream as ‘inappropriate?’ – Especially Jennifer’s giggles.
No.
Indeed, chaos theory is science.
Ridiculous this is. MT4 we have not. My Wookieepedia article in need of clean-up is. Help me RPG, my only hope you are.
Aren’t you a little short for an assistant director of a Genome Center?
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
And “Centre”. Honestly.
Can’t you North Americans do anything consistently?
That’s no moon, it’s a Genome Centre.
I’ll take him myself.
That’s no moon, it’s a Genome Centre.
Confusingly, it’s actually on Mars.
Toronto, Mars. One of these places isn’t where you think it is.
Dantooine. We’re on Dantooine. Allegedly.
Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration – but don’t worry; we will be in beta soon enough.
Can’t you North Americans do anything consistently?The best mailing address to which I’ve sent reams of paperwork and hundreds of dollars is:
Consulate General of Canada
Immigration Regional Program Centre
3000 HSBC Center
Buffalo, New York
Ha ha! That’s brilliant.
That’s what happens when one country controls the name of the office, but another controls the name of the office building.
Yah, I figured that might be the case. Just fortunate the address isn’t in French, eh?
Not a problem – “Centre” (official language 1) and “Centre” (official language 2) are spelled the same in Canada.
Cath – that is absolutely brilliant.
but it’d be
Programme l’Immigration Regionale
shirley?
Programme, program… that’s another one I’ve pretty much given up on, at least in English.
“d’Immigration” I think, presuming “Immigration” is “Immigration” of course.
Is this getting silly yet?
Whaddya mean, ‘getting’?
I think we need Alejandro to show up and write something with upside-down punctuation now.
Happy to help, RW: ¿Who want to know exactly? or ¿What can help at you?
RW and RG, Excuse me: I go to eat lunch in this moment.