Over on the end of the Pier, Henry (or is that ‘Hunry’?) is whining about someone most of the civilized world has never heard of appearing on a British TV show, and where this might end . Maxine reckons it’s no bad thing, and Jenny says it’s all good for the ‘whole geek chic movement’.
I detect an undercurrent of insecurity in such discussions. Those of us who are practising scientists (I like ‘practising’; it implies we’re trying to get better at it) are very well aware that the rest of the world, when it thinks of us at all, views us with a mixture of scorn, pity and dread. We are reviled for having no dress or fashion sense, no cultural sensitivity, no social skills. We are scared that we are labelled as geeks, or — even worse — nerds.
Some of us make a conscious effort to counteract the public image of a scientist. We deliberately do not wear socks with sandals. We read (and sometimes write) poetry and prose , we are proud of our culinary , artistic , and other extra-curricular activities. Others, perhaps more bravely, intercede for us through weblogs; and yet others prefer to patronize (PUS ).
But sometimes it feels as if we are yelling into an empty room. We are resounding gongs or clanging cymbals, and nobody is listening. This can lead to dejection, despair and Australian lager.
To hell with it, I say.
Brothers and sisters, we are scientists. We hold the secret of life in our hands. We probe the very fabric of the Universe, and pick it apart thread by thread.
Why, then, do we cower in our labs and offices and dingy little seminar rooms, over-worked and underpaid, while our true worth is hidden under a bushel? I say we rise up, we activate our army of cloned bioinformaticians and mindless grad students, and hold the world’s governments hostage. We can build machines that make the Death Star look like a Lego toy (what is the power to destroy a planet compared to smashing really small things together really really fast and making black holes , hey?).
The Public Fear of Science. Now there’s something worth working for.
Now, if only my bloody cloning would work.
Sorry, no can do. Your proposal hasn’t gone through the peer-review process.
Ah but Bob, that’s where the physicists and their pre-print servers come in. We don’t have to spend the next 12 months sitting on our hands; we can be revolting now.
Richard, I think you’ve been hearing the voices – yes, the voices, that usually strike one just after closing time, when, somewhat the worse for wear, you find yourself with your nose pressed up against the window of the ’orsemeat shop in the Balls Pond Road – the voices that say “gird up your loins, my child! – gird them up!”, they say, “and take the message of the Shuddering Brethren to an Uncaring World! That those without ’ope might without fear put down their splod in an alien place!!!”
Stand back Henry: I have a cordwangle and I’m not afraid to use it.
Bona!
@Richard: “we can be revolting now.”
Speak for yourself, honey.
Jennifer,
I would only, ever, presume to speak for myself.
Although… I was thinking of asking you to design uniforms for the clone army. Something in pastels, maybe?
This mindless grad student appreciates the culinary plug very much.
By the way, you don’t know the look of fear till you tell someone you work on Herpes. Works every time.
I think we should all choose a terrifying pathogen and stick to it (so to speak). No one will dare mess with us then, even if we are wearing black dress socks with Tevas. [Shudder]
Without wool socks, sandals and Gore-Tex, Richard, you’ll never look native in Corvallis, Oregon. And it’s too late for me to change allegiance. When I saw Stuie on Family Ties, late at night after a long day at an SFN conference, I recognized my leader…
Well, I used to work on mildew.
Keep away from my socks, Bob.
Pastels? Good God, Richard. Just step away from the clone army and let me handle the sartorial issues.
Finally I seem to be getting through to you.
I like it — feel the power of them there crossbridges, and tremble in your boots! (Thus spake ex-muscle researcher.)
That’s the way, Maxine!
Focus on your strengths, everyone!
@Anna:
By the way, you don’t know the look of fear till you tell someone you work on Herpes. Works every time.
You owe me a new keyboard.
Oh no, Richard! What was it? Beer? Coffee? Or was it just the disgust spilling? I vote for beer.
And Bob… Mildew, eh? We can spin that. I am not sure how, but we can spin it. If that pesky “anthrax virus” can keep scaring people on the news, I am sure a fast spreading mold/mildew/gross thingie can do the same.
Cappuccino from Bobby’s. At 0930 local, not likely to be beer, dammit.
Anna – it was barley mildew.
Give in to our demands or your beer gets it!
Bwahahahaa!
I used to work on fossils of these. Forget nancy-boy running-around-knees-bend-advancing-behaviour animal-horse-trough-water donkey-bottom-biter pathogens. Their mother was a hamster and their father smelled of Batrachochrytium dendrobatidis! Just threaten someone with an aurochs horncore and they’ll come round to your point of view remarkably quickly.
I love it. ‘The revolution will be slighlty delayed due to the peer review process.’ Why didn’t they think of that at Heathrow Terminal 5…
The revolution will not be televised – but it might appear on JoVE .
Hoy… Knight… leave the JoVE alone, he whistled.
++INTERLUDE++
Velvet Revolution (Yes, that’s me wailing).
El BONUS TRACK
Ooh, I’ve gone all Keith Floyd
We Don’t Need N(o)N Education
I think You Tube commenters should be first up against the cold room.
Don’t think I’ve ever commented on YouTube, so warm room for me.
Nice threat, Bob O’Hara ;).
I have an issue with this whole ‘styleless scientist’ stereotype. I’m a research scientist and I think I dress well. I’ve never committed such fashion faux pas’ such as wearing socks with sandals – in fact I’ll have you know I’ve never even worn sandals. And neither have many of my colleagues. Also some of the best-dressed lecturers at my old alma mater were mine. It’s actualy quite amazing to me that people who are trained to be observers and modellers of what goes on in the world in general (according to you) can’t get a simple thing like what looks decent right.
As for the ‘scorn, pity and dread’ thing (crap, this is turing into quite a rant, sorry. Rant alert!), my experiences from back home with telling people what I was studying often resulted in remarks like ‘Oh, so you’re actually useful then’ (This often from people in our ridiculously overfunded Arts programs – I’m from Ireland by the way). There is in fact an amusing difference between people who react with interest when you say you’re a scientist, and people who go blank and trail off. It is also useful as the former are the ones worth bothering with in the future – an effect as I have observed that has been rigourously replicated throughout my life as a scientist. So yeah…in conclusion, being in science is great. And to hell with the rest! :P