It’s been forty years since Neil Armstrong first set foot on the Moon, uttering his immortal words, “I don’t care what Bill Bryson says, this is a helluva long way to go for a taco”.
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I, Editor by Henry Gee
This is the Nature Network and therefore Terribly Extremely Very Serious foothold for Nature Senior Editor Henry Gee. If you want fun and games, visit http://cromercrox.blogspot.com/
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Let's Go Where There's Cheese
- Date:
- Wednesday, 29 Apr il 2009 - 10:18 UTC
The moon shots of the mighty U. S. and A. were joined, if not preceded, by those of the erstwhile former until recently Soviet Union, rumoured to have fired a live chicken, a colony of hamsters and an okapi called Raisa towards our selenaceous neighbour, though probably not all at the same time. (If they want any more animals, they should apply to the Maison Des Girrafes, I’m sure we have a few spare guinea pigs around the place).
Since then, the original space-racers have been joined by China, India, South Korea, Nigeria, Lesotho, San Marino, August Bank Holiday Island (which is between Easter Island and Christmas Island), Ruritania, the Lost Realms of Ongar and 62 West Wallaby Street, Lancs.
Reports that Alabama has fired a test missile towards the Moon have been strenuously denied by NASA.
None of the foregoing should, of course,
detractdistract one from Racing To The Moon, the next Nature Debate, which takes place at 7 pm (that’s nineteen hundred hours, in moonspeak) on Monday 11 May at Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9AG.A lively panel of humans and other sentient entities will debate such matters as whether we still need manned missions; whether space exploration needs countries to
boldly gocooperate, or if it benefits from international conflict and mistrust; whether, if the Moon were made of cheese, it would be any single variety, or a mixture (I imagine Parmesan for the highlands, and Camembert for the maria) and who it was that put the benzedrine in Mrs Murphy’s ovaltine.In the Captain’s Chair will be Commander Christine McGourty, BBC Science Correspondent; joining her will be Medical Officer Kevin Fong, Chair, UK Space Biomedical Advisory Committee; First Mate Oliver Morton, Chief News and Features Editor, Nature and author of Mapping Mars, and Professor Martin Sweeting, CEO, Surrey Satellite Technology.
Tickets cost ninety-seven trillion billion gazillion Altairian Dollars (£9.50 at current rates)
No, I won’t take Lehman Brothers in payment – I want the £9.50 in cashand are available here or from the Box Office on 020 7520 1490 or tickets@kingsplace.co.uk
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Last updated: Wednesday, 29 Apr 2009 - 10:18 UTC
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Comments
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When our Sun goes nova, there’s gonna be great fondue opportunities on the Moon. Book now to avoid disappointment.
Sorry. It’d be the Wrong Kind of Cheese. I’m pretty sure that the Gruyere content of the Moon is very low, and fondue made from Parmesan and/or Camembert would be disgusting. Well, actually, fondues made of anything are pretty disgusting, but that’s just my opinion.
Lunch was nice, though. Thanks.
I don’t recall there being any cheese, though. Or bouzouki players.
That’s probably why, then.
Of course, there is another apocryphal tale about Armstrong’s second words … but perhaps not for this forum, in cae Gee Minima is kibitzing.
I thought they were “Excuse me, Madam, but does this Lunar Module go to the Station?”
Cheese fondue good, chocolate fondue better. Obviously we need manned missions to Mars.
Peanut-Butter-And-Jam? I hear it’s very popular on Ganymede.
Bloody heck, I’d better get a move on with my Lunar Excursion Catapult™ then.
When Neil Armstrong saw the prototype drawings, he said:
“That may have been one small step for Mankind, but Holy #!@& that’s one big $#%$#ing catapult, buddy!”
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[certain aspects of the above statement may not be entirely accurate]
Personally, I’m a fan of the boiling oil based fondue with bits of meat cooked in it. And for the love of the
sweet baby Jebusplanet, we can re-use the oil to power our interstellar omnibuses.Wensleydale!
Not the bendy kind, I hope.
But seriously, folks, why on Earth (no pun intended) would we want to go back to the Moon, even if it is is made of cheese? The fact that no manned mission has gone there since 1972 says an awful lot, if you ask me.
Lack of vision.
It’s those damned timeshare agents, if you ask me. They poisoned the place. Get rid of them and you’ll see it reborn as a T&L holiday spot. You want to see junket on Uncle Sam’s dime, baby, that’s junket. I mean forget those huts in Antarctica.
I’m trying to cut back on cheese, and I was doing well, but in the past two days alone I’ve had cheddar, provolone, parmezan, feta, cream cheese, and brie. I blame this post.
I even ordered a cheese platter for 50 people, but I promise not to eat all of that myself. (Only because other people will be eating from it at the same time, and I can’t fight them all off at once.)
The problem began when they started sending all those multimillionaire tourists to space so that they’ll pay the costs of the mission. Eventually, one of them was bound to become interested in that big piece of real state up there, offering tons and tons of virgin sands and total seclusion.
The catapult is almost complete. I am only charging $50 gajillion per shot.
Would anybody care to nominate any billionaires for the test flight? I can think of a few likely candidates, but I’m interested in the community perspective. Richard Branson already said “no”, by the way, citing competing business interests and a lack of faith in the integrity of the rubber bands.
Can your catapult accommodate the entire Palace of Westminster and everyone in it? They’d pay the $50gaj and charge it to expenses.