The aircraft stoops. It’s coming in to land.
Despite the fact I’m feeling like an owl
Sucked into a giant turbofan,
And that my mind’s integrity is held
Together solely by the holy grace
Of a brace of Tylenol™, the forms
Must be completed. So I must begin.
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I, Editor by Henry Gee
This is the Nature Network and therefore Terribly Extremely Very Serious foothold for Nature Senior Editor Henry Gee. If you want fun and games, visit http://cromercrox.blogspot.com/
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Lines on Entering the United States of America
- Date:
- Friday, 16 Jan uary 2009 - 05:48 UTC
Do I carry samples of disease
Likely to make the noble homeland sneeze?
Yes I do, but germs upon one’s person
Can’t be left behind, as though one could
Pluck them from one’s nostrils.
That aside- I am transporting snails?
This puzzles me. They could as well have asked
If I were moving eels, or tardigrades
Priapulids or kinorhynchs or salps,
Pogonophores or loriciferans,
Siphonophora, jellyfish or newts
Or even roaches. What’s so wrong with snails
That so inspires this special prejudice?
Search me. Now here’s another thing -
Have I been mired in sabotage, or worse
Ullage, Tillage, or Espionage?
Well, no, but would I tell you if I were?
It’s disturbing that my passport photo page
Looks like Abu Nidal’s more crazy brother
And that, I must confess, my own dear mother
Thinks I look like someone too deranged
Even for the work of jihadists.
But that (I’m pleased to say) is no good guide
To the gentle, quiet soul inside.
Nothing matters: the form is just a front.
The customs man is friendly, genial, kind.
He stamps the form and casts no further glance
At its green and fierce admonitions.
And bids me welcome to the United States.
And so I’m here for ScienceOnline09
Concerning which, much more, another time.Last updated: Friday, 16 Jan 2009 - 05:48 UTC
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Comments
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When asked ‘what is the purpose of your visit to the US’, the border official didn’t quite seem sure what to make of the answer. I had no queues and everyone was gloriously pleasant and nice to me, which happens when I travel alone.
Might I ask you
To smuggle this bag through?
No, don’t worry – there’s no heroin or crack
Just a small box containing
man-eating jihadist snails
Helix pomatia
Allahu Akbar!