Being, as I am, a monster of vanity and arrogance (a phrase I nicked with subtle daring from Wing Commander Maurice Baring Isaac Asimov, clearly a kindred spirit) my favourite pastime is talking about myself to people who’ve clearly made some effort to listen. However, such affairs can be abusive, craved all the more even if the people are severely critical, or even bloody rude.
So it was that I was the subject of dissection interrogation at the Royal Institution’s Fiction Lab last night (proprietor, J. Rohn, licenced to kill sell intoxicating ideas on or off the premises) in which the assembled multitudes stamped all over my work of genius, By The Sea, chopped it into small pieces and recycled it as mermaid kibble.
However, being as I am a Nature editor, paid to spread misery, discord and disappointment as widely as possible, reveling in pain and conflict,
So, Professor Bond, you’re appealing, are you? You don’t look very appealing from here.
… I think I gave as good as I got to the two or three hostile readers who dominated the proceedings, even though most readers understood the fantastical elements in the story, and were prepared to suspend their disbelief.
The most cutting comments were, of course, the ones that were true, exposing deficiencies in plot or characterization. However, I think I came out winning on points, and the experience was, I think, productive, and was, as they say these days, a ‘learning experience’. After all, they laughed at Picasso.
The excitement was ramped up to eleven by the presence of a TV crew making a pilot for the Newton Project, a projected web-based science TV channel. The crew filmed the readers’ discussion before I arrived; the ensuing gladiatorial contest debate, and the post mortem, in which Jenny and I sat on the RI Comfy Sofa and talked about the problems of portraying scientists in mainstream fiction. This is something that quite a few of us are very keen on and what with my effort, and Jenny’s own novel, perhaps the lives of scientists will be given a cool reappraisal, demolishing – one hopes – prejudices fuelled by tabloid hysteria on the one hand, and the studied disdain of the metropolitan chatterati on the other.
First, we take Manhattan…
Well done Dr Gee. I am still a sickly shade of green, and my vernalized chili plants have turned brown with envy.
Yes! Dr. No!
That’ll teach you not to be careless around the Gamma Cell
I thought you were very brave to submit yourself to the process Henry – and certainly defended your ground robustly! And, although I discovered that gothic horror is not really my thing, I still take my hat off to you for having had the wherewithal to produce a novel.
Stephen, you’re too kind.
[ Oh no he isn’t – ed.]
Nice one Henry. Must have been pretty nerve wracking! Is the TV thing gonna be webcast?
Well, it sounds like you smashed through the prejudice of scientists being meek and mild. If it takes fear to motivate the reading masses, so be it……..
Not sure about the webcast – Jenny and I were assured that some digital footage (centimeterage?) would be made available, but not sure of timetable.
Yup, I hear it’s an approximate 6-week period from rushes to final edits, and it will go live regardless of whether the pilot is green-lighted as a regular series.
Henry was absolutely brilliant and, for context, the group is harsh on every author — and the most vehement of the nit-pickers never like any of the novels we read.
Jenny – I guess that means you are really looking forward to your turn in the spotlight!
I don’t think I have the stomach for it, Brian: I’m not made of the same stuff that Henry is. I think my second one might just be good enough not to get thoroughly slaughtered by that lot.
I’m not made of the same stuff that Henry is.
I am made of slugs and snails and
kittens impaled on red hot skewerspuppy-dogs’ tails, whereas Dr Rohn is (naturellement) concocted of sugar and spice and all things nice.No calcium, then?
It remains unreleased in its intracellular stores.
Just finished the book, and I liked it! It could use some proofreading and maybe some tightening up though, especially the second half.
I have to say though – woman is mistreated by a man and therefore becomes a lesbian, even though this is not vital to the plot? Really? Just seemed a little… off, to me. But I liked the rest of it.
Thanks Cath!