Those of you with long memories will recall the creation of that staple of the Nature Network, the Unicycling Girrafe.
Yesterday, I took delivery of a new office door,
My Office (door not pictured)
having been without one for a while, an absence conditioned by the laying of a new floor over which the old door would not run (are you with me? Keep up, Grant: and Brooks, stop making eyes at Rohn. She’s busy).
Having managed to fit the door myself, such that I wll be able to shut myself away and not be distracted by massed Gees watching Strictly Come Chav Factor every Saturday night, I commissioned Gee Minor to do a brand new ‘No Girrafes’ notice, which she did.
It’s a lovely notice, but I discovered, too late, that her spelling has improved, so that the notice reads
NO GIRAFFES ON UNICYCLES BEYOND THIS POINT
I could hardly ask her to re-create the charming mis-spelling of yore, but somehow, something inside me died just then.
There’s also a practical problem. Whereas I feel sure that the notice will deter giraffes of all kinds, I fully expect to be invaded by girrafes, and my life will be reduced to a confusion of hooves and wheels.
All the girrafes with rolling Rs are outside my window right now trying to get in, so I think you’re safe for now.
They just want to be close to you, I guess. You should turn your charisma down a notch, and they’ll just drift away.
The girrafes of Norfolk want to know why the door doesn’t fit perfectly? Very nice door but it is upsetting the beautiful decor of Mrs G’s front room, please fix it Dr G. And Mrs G also asks (of course on behalf of the girrafes) was the excitement at the arrival of the new door the reason Dr G (who likes all things wooden) was up chatting in the night from 3 to 5, stopping Mrs G from having her beauty sleep? Strange goings on indeed in the Maisons des Girrafes…
Dr G can has more dirty linen that Mrs G can wash on teh interwebz, if she wants.
Dr G will investigate the very strange hinges, which aren’t behaving themselves. That, and going to Homebase™ to buy a catch.
The irony is, if you Google ‘Girrafe’, Nature Network is the third hit but with a post from Bob O’Hara.
Even more ironic, on the Finnish Google I’m down at seven.
Henry – Strictly Come Chav Factor
Since Peter Kay’s BRITAIN’S GOT THE POP FACTOR AND POSSIBLY A NEW CELEBRITY JESUS CHRIST SOAPSTAR SUPERSTAR STRICTLY ON ICE, all other attempts to paraody the genre have a long way to go.
I was over-the-moon (Brian) to discover that where Leon Jackson, winner of last year’s X-Factor, has a single at number 3 in the charts, the ‘winner’ of Kay’s spoof has a single at number 2…
Those giraffes, when unicycling, are they using giraffe unicycles?
@HGee: That really is a beautiful and melancholic post. I guess this is one of the bitter-sweet moments as one’s child grows up.
Thanks to the wonders of the internets, the moment is preserved:
..and that magnetic doodad says what?
“But Dr. Gee holding his p…”
Answers on the back of a unicycling girrafe to the usual address…
“Either of them…”
The other one’s in Sydney being Henry Higgins (or is that ‘Enry ’Iggins?) right now. You’ll have to do.
The notice with the ‘p’ reads, in full
But Dr Gee believes he may end up holding his place as the oldest human ancestor
Daily Mail, sometime in the mid-1990s. Really, I could sue.