I had a dream, brothers and sisters, that one day even the state of Norfolk Minnesota Alaska Mississippi, a state sweltering with the stink of crocs, be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I had a dream that my six little chickens, eight guinea pigs, two hamsters, two cats, dog, snake (temporarily absent), 500 compost worms and Beelzebun Demon Bunny of DOOM will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their fur feathers skin but by the content of their nestboxes.
I had a dream today!
I had a dream that one day, up in the State of Alaska, with its deluded creationists, with its sexily bespectacled governor, having her lips dripping with the blood of meece mooses elk she has slaughtered herself; foaming with the eldritch words of “anti-abortion” and “book burnin’” — one day right there, in Alaska, little white polar bears will be there to wash the crude oil off little black polar bears, as sisters and brothers.
I had a dream today!
I had a dream that one day every valley shall be eroded, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the self-evident truth of the Lord anthropogenic climate change shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.
I had a dream today!
I had a dream that history would prove that Boris Johnson had been the greatest statesman of this or any other age, and that – yea! – calcium would be released from intracellular stores.
I had a dream today!
I had a dream that the Republican Party would elect a black, female presidential candidate (Whoopi Goldberg would be nice. Or Aretha Franklin. R. E. S. P. E. C. T!) who would choose for her running mate another black, female candidate; and they’d use the Republican Convention to announce that they were, in fact, practicing lesbians, one the mother of test-tube twins created by artificial insemination, the other had a father saved from Parkinsonism by embryonic stem cells and who had given birth to daughters by solar-powered parthenogenesis, and also that they planned to use the Republican Convention to get married according to the rites of Reconstructionist Judaism. Mazel Tov! Praise the Lord! God Bless America!
I had a dream today !!!
And then I woke up.
As an American, I applaud you, Gee Major, for putting such an astute finger on the pulse of our once great nation.
The inimitable Ed Abbey wrote:
“I am a redneck myself, born & bred on a submarginal farm in Appalachia, descended from an endless line of dark-complected, lug-eared, beetle-browed, insolent barbarian peasants, a line reaching back to the dark forests of central Europe & the alpine caves of my Neanderthal primogenitors.”
Originally, the term “redneck” applied to poor white Appalachians of Scots-Irish descent, but usage has now spread throughout most of the lower 48, and can be applied, typically as an insult, to many of us who are descended from insolent barbarian peasants. Palin is a product of the Pacific Northwest, so it will be interesting to see how the regional bigotry, if any, plays out in this election.
Must you point out she’s associated with the Pacific Northwest? When I think of her, I take comfort in considering Alaska a far away outpost of tenuous civilization. Were she from Portland, I would have to consider ritual disembowlment.
How about some good, healthy piece of satire coming from that same ‘once great nation’.. all the ingredients are still there, you know, if you can only work out how to turn things around!
steffi – Thanks for that link to the Onion. I’m heartened. But don’t get me wrong; by ‘once great’ I don’t mean that we cannot be great again. But I do think it’s important that we recognise that we’ve tumbled and need to pick ourselves up again (whereas camp McCain seems to think everything’s hunky dory, lying down there in the dirt).
Henry, have you been sniffing at the fermented gooseberries again?
Must you point out she’s associated with the Pacific Northwest?
You could always think of Alaska as “The Texas of the Northwest”.
@ Steffi and Karen: Excellent points- I think we can turn things around, but only if those in power recognize and accept the many problems and difficulties that must be addressed. The current administration seems to be in complete denial about the mess
they got us intowe’re in.Has anyone told Charles Darwin about that piece in The Onion? It really did make me laugh out loud.
The problem with that piece of satire is that it sums up very well how He Who Must Not Be Named and his acolytes view Darwin – as the prophet of some kind of anti-religion. This leaves genuine scientists fighting irrationality with their hands tied behind their backs.
Henry, it’s satire. Do not take it seriously.
Yes, I know satire when I see it. But satire works when it is as close a mirror to the truth as possible. We must remember that Darwin was a man of his times.
But when you listen to HWMNBN or his acolytes you get the impression that all was darkness before Darwin came down on his heavenly chariot bearing his Holy Texts, after which everything was all right. This presents an extremely distorted picture of what really happened.
Ummm, at the risk of preaching to the converted (how many
poly hunsholy puns can I squeeze in here?), I think the satirical vegetable gets a good balance.There’s no point in blind faith in, or worship of, a theory. Let’s keep testing it to refine it or prove it wrong.
Brian Appleyard not only talks about Sarah Palin, he uses the word ‘chthonic’ (hat tip, Dr M. C. of Kingston-upon-Thames)
This just in (Hat Tip, Adam Rutherford).
Hi Jennifer – I’m afraid it must have been the elderflowers yesterday!
Thanks for the link, Henry – really, Michael Palin would be better..
I’ve spent the majority of my adult life trying to keep up with the Joneses that’s why I am now in need of a credit repair. As an American, there is an undeniable pressure to live the “American Dream”. I just think it’s ironic that the American Dream has become almost identical for everyone—big houses, fancy cars, a white picket fence, and expensive things. It’s pretty evident that all of these luxuries and material goods aren’t making Americans happy. Instead of happiness, I feel guilt and stress when I make purchases at the store. I feel guilty for buying something I know I don’t really need, and I feel stress because I know my credit card bill is going to be huge. I, like many Americans, need to reevaluate what really makes us happy. Focusing on material goods isn’t making me happy. All these things that I have are just weighing me down emotionally and financially. The simple things in life make me happy—like spending time with my kids, getting outdoors, and talking with my husband. The best part is none of those things cost money. So why then are Americans so consumed with spending money on worthless things? Americans are addicted to shopping and spending to impress each other. I’m sure my designer clothing impresses a few people, but if they knew how much credit card debt it took to dress like this, they wouldn’t find it as impressive. Keeping up with the Joneses is overrated, and I’ve paid a heavy price to try to live the “American Dream”. I’m going to start living my own dream—the real American dream. I’m going to start managing my money, saving my money, and paying off my debts. My credit score is also extremely low, so I’m going to get credit repair help. With less debt and credit repair I can focus on the things in my life that truly make me happy—my family. Click to read more on Credit Repair.
The 2009 Preserving the American Dream conference will ask how urban public policy will be impacted by the new Obama Administration and an economic recession, and we will expose the Smart Growth threat to mobility, property rights, and housing affordability. The conference will include a tour of recent transportation and land-use projects in the Seattle area as well as dozens of speakers and workshops on transportation and land-use issues.
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