Disclosing my profession to health care professionals can be both a blessing and a curse.
Some doctors assume that I know more than I really do. Others get defensive when I know more than they do about one teeny tiny little area of biology (there are too estrogen receptor molecules in the GI tract, Dr “Your Contraceptive Pills Can’t Possibly Be Causing These Symptoms”. I know because a reviewer once pointed it out as a possible weakness in my analysis and I had to spend a couple of weeks looking up new references, checking promoter sequences for binding sites, and rewriting my discussion). Some doctors apparently just like to freak me out; I really did not need to discuss current research on cancer stem cells while having a suspicious mole removed from my arm.
But today, it provided me with a couple of cool photos to share with you.
My optometrist is Teh Awesome, and we always have a really good chat about science and medicine while she asks me to compare two seemingly identical sets of lenses. (“Number one, or number two?” “Um, they look the same… number one might be a bit better. No! Wait! Number two”. I am a very frustrating patient). So when she was showing me the retinal scans she’d just taken (everything is AOK, apparently), I asked her for a copy, and they were waiting in my email inbox when I got back to my desk after my appointment.
Here’s my retina, with optical nerve (white doughnut shape on left), macula (red blob on right), and blood vessels:
And here’s the hilarious effect of the eye-dilating drops on my poor innocent little pupils (self portrait with iPhone camera):
Yeah. I’m currently hiding at my desk, avoiding all contact with colleagues until I stop looking quite so stoned.
Heh. I had this done a month or two ago, and my Optometrist showed me my retina images too… I almost asked him for copies (and now I’m wishing I had!).
I also lurked in the dark for a long time, to the amusement of my co-workers.
You should always ask! The worst they can do is
alert the authoritiessay no.My eyes are slowly returning to normal, and I can now see to the far end of my open-plan office area without too much blurring. Luckily my close vision was more or less OK as soon as I got back to my desk!
So now we can steal your ID. Excellent.
Except that none of my ID is linked to retinal scans or any other biometric info. (Although the Americans do have several copies of my right and left index finger prints).
That is really cool! I should have gotten my dentist to photocopy my dental X-rays for me a couple of weeks ago (it was pretty much the first time I’d seen a medical view of me).
Americans have many copies of my left and right index fingerprints too, along with a grumpy gallery of pix of me after long flights.
Oooooh, did I start a trend of NNers posting medical pics of themselves? I wonder if I can get hold of the rather spectacular X-rays showing my badly broken arm when I was 7. At the very least I could show you the resulting scar.
Yeah, the US and UK authorities have varios grumpy jetlagged photos of me too. The Canadians don’t overtly take your photo, but they might be doing it surreptitiously.
Yay. Just need to find my pleural effusion.
Has anyone used retinal-scanning machines in airports? They’ve got one here – I think you pay a certain annual subscription fee or the like, and you can bypass all the lines, scan your retina, presumably swipe your passport and breeze on by. Might just be for US/Canada, but as I hardly ever travel I’ve never bothered to find out. It all sounds rather techy and exciting though.
Hang on: you have to pay to —
someone, somewhere, is having a major larf.
Isn’t it the iris that gets scanned by those machines, rather than the retina? I don’t know exactly how static the pattern of blood vessels in the retinal picture is.
Hang on while I check
Oh, OK – Wikipedia says that “A retinal scan is a biometric technique that uses the unique patterns on a person’s retina to identify them. It is not to be confused with another ocular-based technology, iris recognition. […]the retina typically remains unchanged from birth until death.”
So there you go.
Richard G, it depends on the length of the queue! I almost missed my flight to San Diego a few weeks ago due to very long and slow lines of people, so it might have been worth it for me. Not that iris or retina scanning machines are available at YVR yet.
Cath – I honestly have no idea how it works, could be an iris scan, who knows?
@RPG – Cath speaks teh truthfulness. Seeing that machine sitting all alone in the corner while waiting in a huge queue made it seem very attractive. If only I traveled anywhere these days.