1. I’m almost out of Glenlivet and need to go buy another bottle.
2. Most people think I’m Jewish, but I’m actually Italian; most people think I’m from Massachusetts, but I’ve spent the majority of my life in New York.
3. Everyone thinks I’m taller than I am (5’4"), because I wear heels 95% of the time outside my home.
4. I’m an economic vegetarian; if you’re paying, I’m ordering red meat.
5. I work excessively. The only time I don’t go into the lab for at least part of the day on weekends is when I have guests visiting from out of town.
6. I enjoy being in the lab more than anything else, at least on most days.
7. The only regret I have in my entire life is that I wasted most of my time in college. I should have worked harder, and I should have majored in something biology.
8. If I hadn’t wasted all that time in college, I wouldn’t have moved home after graduation, and I wouldn’t have worked at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory for two years, and if I hadn’t worked at Cold Spring Harbor, I wouldn’t know half the people I do in science and wouldn’t have gotten into Columbia for grad school, so in the overall scheme of things, it probably wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
9. I watch/read/listen to radio shows about sports at least 10 hours a week; significantly more during baseball season.
10. I’ve always wanted to bet money on sporting events, but I find myself unable to wager on them objectively.
11. I often question why I’m still single, and then I remember how many people I dump, how quickly I get bored, and how unappealing I find tying myself down to a location before I know where I’m going to be able to find work.
12. I spend too much time on Facebook, and too much time on the Onion’s website.
13. I’m the oldest of five children, and the older I get, the more I appreciate how great my family is.
14. I’ve always wanted to own a farm, ever since I was a kid.
15. I’ve spent thousands of dollars of Columbia’s money hosting speakers and graduate student candidates; I felt bad about this until I realized the faculty is even better than I am at spending money at New York City eating establishments.
16. I love teaching; it’s exhausting and always takes up more time than you think it will, but the students I’ve had have been almost universally great. And way better behaved than I was when I was an undergrad.
17. I need a haircut.
18. I used to worry about the fact that I’m swiftly approaching 30, until I realized that I make a way better older person than a young person. I’ve been happy with spending my Friday nights listening to baseball on the radio, having some scotch, doing laundry, and going to bed at midnight for years.
19. I require no less than 7 hours of sleep a night.
20. Most of the women in my family have lived well into their 90’s. Almost all of the men have failed to get past 75.
21. If I’m not in the lab, I’m either in a bar, the subway, a restaurant, or sleeping.
22. I almost never answer or look at my cell phone while at work. This has deeply offended countless numbers of people.
23. I hate Duke, USC, and Ohio State.
24. My boss mentioned getting me to graduate in a reasonably short amount of time, and it freaked me out. I actually got worried that he was sick, or that the lab needed my bench space back or something.
25. The only three careers I’ve ever seriously entertained having are professor/scientist, writer, and professional skateboarder.