I have a profound appreciation for the difficulties of being a non-native speaker in a foreign country. I refer to my experiences of living in Mexico, although on occasion, communication in Australia can be just as challenging, although such challenges usually result from mere vocabulary issues rather than complicated matters of form and structure. (For example the time I stormed into my apartment managers’ office demanding they do something about the caulk in my bathtub…seems it is called ‘silicone’ here.)
English is a particularly difficult language to learn, and I admire anyone with the courage to strike into the professional world with a mere smattering of mastery. I recently attended a seminar given by a Chinese national who three months ago stepped off the plane with an English vocabulary consisting of “yes” and “thank you”, two words which will indeed take you very far in life. Although it was choppy, he had made great strides and accurately communicated some fine results.
I often expostulate that English is a flexible and accommodating language, and that as long as you get your point across, then it is indeed communication. However, patience fades somewhat when it comes to the anonymous letters of application for research opportunities that drift daily through my inbox. For example:
Dear Dr’s
I am 30 years old, a Veterinarian from the Faculty of Veterinary Medicine, National University of Colombia, located in Bogotá – Colombia.
I am contacting you with the purpose of introduce my self and inquire about the possibility to do the research project. I have been interested in Cardiovascular,Circulation, Failure Heart and Renal Falilure
I finished my master degree in physiology; I finished my thesis work, it was trying to Evaluated the functional of the left ventricle with echocardiography Doppler in dogs with failure heart.
I was doing a fellowship in UCLA in Lab Animal the last year; It was amaizing , I had my Recomended lettler.
I would like to continue my formation in the area of medicine and physiology science in order to enrich my country like professor and researcher. I am a very motivated and diligent student and, as you will find in my documentation, and I have had research experience. I have attached my CV. I would appreciate if you review my academic story and achievements and, consider the possibility to accept me in your program.
Financiation: My country and The University of Sydney World Scholars awards provide opportunities for academically gifted PhD candidates who have developed innovative research projects to undertake a PhD degree at the University of Sydney with financial suppor ( see it ,at the end of the attach).
Thanks in advance for your help, and I look forward to hear from you soon.
When applying for a job, I am of the opinion that one should make every effort to make an excellent first impression, and that would include demonstrating that you know how to locate resources that help you make a good impression. However, poor diction aside – afterall, I was able to get the point of this letter AND was duly impressed with his qualifications – who keeps advising these people that sending out random blanket letters to entire universities with the salutation ‘Dear Professor’ (or sometimes even ‘Dear Prof’) is a fine idea? These letters smack with a desperation that says “I will take anything” and while that may be true, why would you want to work for a lab that would take you on merely because you have your own money?
I fully understand the attraction of externally funded candidates, but I am also poignantly aware that principal investigators are not immune to the power of the ego and want to believe that an applicant knows something of their research and has a legitimate reason for wanting to work in their lab.
I am curious to know how other researchers view these types of applications. Does it matter to you that an applicant doesn’t bother to find out what labs are pertinent to their research interests? Do dollar signs and free labor outweigh demonstrations of motivation? And, how willing are you to take on employees that will most certainly tax your powers of creative communication?
I must admit that if a random letter came into my in box with no indication at all that they knew what we were doing I’d delete it without further ado.
Unless it made a funny blog post, natch.
I also do not have a lot of patience for largely incoherent application letters, but (a) I am a curmudgeon, and (b) we get a sh*tload of them here, so the bar is possibly raised a little higher than it should be. If it doesn’t look like a superstar, it’s not getting any attention. And not stating clearly who, what, when, how and why, in language I can understand, drops it way down the “superstar” scale.
Unless it made a funny blog post, natch…
one,
two,
three.
I’m getting “plagiarism” red flags from the “Financiation” paragraph and the closing sentence. But I do like the spontaneous “it was amaizing”.
I had the chance to work on maize genetics once. It was amaizing too. I still have my recomended lettler!
I am half tempted to rewrite his letter for him and send it back with some advice. I wonder if he would like to learn electrophysiology, maybe do all our frog surgeries? Our department could use a little 30 year old Columbian spice.
I want to open a night club and call it “Lab Animal”.
Richard W: UR 2 fuuuuuuny
Eva: Good call – I didn’t catch the sudden transition to proper English.
Christian: Mind your capitalization…it is a Recommended letter.
I want to open a night club and call it “Lab Animal”.
Perhaps ‘SCID Mouse’ would be more geeky?