Given that I reject about a dozen submissions to Nature in any given week, it’s a wonder that I get so few comebacks. Death threats are, thankfully, rare, and lawsuits only fractionally more common.
This week, though, I got perhaps the most amusing response I’ve ever seen to a manuscript rejected without review. By the way, as regards what follows, the scientist concerned has allowed me to blog about it, though I shall protect his identity to spare his blushes. Let’s just call him ‘Joe Botanist’.
Dr Botanist’s manuscript was an interesting exegesis on factors influencing speciation in various vascular plants. But the margins of Nature are too cramped to contain everything we want to publish, so it had to go. My form letter was swiftly followed by this note from Dr Botanist:
- Dear Prof. Gee, This rejection is most unfortunate, as now I must follow thru with some alpha-taxonomic work: describing one of the very many unnamed [plants] as a species in your honour. Now I thought it best to warn you of this rejection-contingent plan in the covering letter, but my co-authors vehemently, vituperatively and vociferously vilified the idea. Given that you weren’t warned, I’ll at least give you a choice of genera: do you prefer Amorphophallus or Diclis? All best wishes, Joe Botanist.
- PS I hope this tom foolery doesn’t mean I might as well not ever submit anything to Nature again.
My response was that I’d be honoured to have a species named after me, and despite its name (and smell) chose Amorphophallus
on the grounds that such plants are inescapably reminiscent of the tumescent puissance of my magnificence, or so I like to think. Better that than Diclis,
whose habit is described as
- Slender herb at first more or less erect becoming prostrate
Well, wouldn’t you?
- Please feel free to use the below as fodder for your blog,
wrote Dr Botanist,
- though I cannot promise that I will in fact be able to follow through on my “threat.”
So, as of now, Amorphophallus geei has yet to grace the botanical literature. Watch this space.
Mate that is simply brilliant! Dr. Botantist indeed deserves this internetted notoriety. Stuff like this must make up for all the sleepless nights, angst and self-hate that go with being
a Geean editor…?We Editors must get our Olympian pleasures where we may.
I’ve got a friend who had a parasitic wasp named after her.
How does it smell?
…wait..wrong joke… sorry
Crikey, Bob.
Talking of Editors, here’s their official website
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As some of you good good people are aware, from time to time, I play around with the likes of
LegoPhotoshop.As such, it didn’t take long to create the following based upon the above, upload to web and paste it in here.
I hope “Dr Joe Botanist” has been made aware of this thread and in the end, gets their Manu published somewhere interesting so that we can read about an interesting exegesis on factors influencing speciation in various vascular plants.
(for the trained eye – note how I’ve “cloned-out” the chap on the far left from the original jpeg)
Great job with the Photoshop, Graham. Phew, Amorphophallus…no wonder the Interflora Messenger is holding it at arm’s length!
OT, @ Henry – Here, in the semi-arid Kurtz’ station of the (former) Empire(s), I finally received the Fall 2008 Mallorn. Haven’t had a chance to peruse it yet, but :-)
Shucks Kristi, this is my most adventurous image thus far here at NN.
My Mum is a very experienced and now retired florist so…
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oops
@ Graham – I salute your
flower arrangingartistic skills, sir.@ Kristi – that was quick! I hope you enjoy it.
This blog made it to the hallowed ‘People’ pag of the Thunderer (hat-tip, Maxine). It’s about halfway down this column.