The residents at the Maison Des Girrafes are members of the Norfolk Smallholders’ Association, whose general sense of fatalistic humor can be judged by the title of its newsletter – Harrowing Times.
Okay, when we joined, at their first annual show last July, we had just two chickens, but whenever I mentioned this (for example, to the man selling hot-dogs made from his own Gloucester Old-Spot pigs), people would get all misty-eyed and say things like, “ah, I remember it well…” and “it’s a slippery slope…”. Maybe they were right – now we have four chickens and two more are on order.
Members of the Association regularly throw their smallholdings open to other members of the society to come and poke around: today the Gees clambered into Caroline, the Gees’ 1995 Volvo [thinks: must get the brakes looked at], and went to a smallholding a few miles down the coast, for a general consciousness-raising, bring-and-buy and barbecue.
We went with a bottle of wine and some beer – we came away with several plants, a peck of wistfulness and half a bushel of inspiration. We saw some rather hot sheep (unshorn, on a very warm day), several happy pigs, goslings, chickens, a very impressive cockerel, some truly dramatic Norfolk Black turkeys, and a litter of Airedale terrier puppies (very cute). There were lots of experienced smallholders willing to impart news on everything from the care of polytunnels to the dangers to poultry of eating slugs infected with tapeworm eggs (a new one on me, I admit).
We went home a lot quieter than when we arrived, stuffed full of Gloucester-Old-Spot bbq sausages and each dreaming a happy dream of smallholding bliss. Mrs Gee would like a pig (but not to eat, which I find strange); I’d like an orchard with some chickens pecking around below; a pond for ducks, another for fish and a couple of polytunnels to grow all the veg I want, all year round. Gee Minor (aged 10) would like a little of everything – pigs, chickens, geese, the lot. Though not sheep, because she heard that they suffer from too many complicated diseases. Gee Minima (8) was sulky because we didn’t come home with one of the Airedale puppies.
Now we’re home Mrs Gee is surfing online forums about guinea pigs, chickens, smallholder-sitting services and tempting offers of plots of land for a song (or for a Wagner opera, if planning permission has already been granted).
It’s all right for a sunny day in May, I suppose. But when it’s blowing a gale in January and an incoming swan with H5N1 has sneezed all over your free-range Rhode Island Reds – perhaps not so nice.
But, well, you never know. For anyone in trouble, in need of a hand, some advice or even a trade (guinea-fowl eggs were exchanged for feed in my presence), the Smallholders’ Association is never far away. Who knows? It could happen.
Rather hot sheep. I can’t believe I typed that.
Made me laugh when I read that.
My brother is waiting for me to get a house with a yard, so I can start growing chickens, and goats, and ducks, and bunnies (of DOOM or otherwise), and ponies, and peonies… My brother knows me very well.
When we bought our new house, we went for a place with a garden because we wanted some outside, but a small one (about 3m wide by 5m deep) because basically we’re both academics, and never here so we needed something manageable. I’d take a picture, except that its got dark, and even if it were light you wouldn’t be able to see anything for the weeds…
When I grew up, there was a house behind our who’s owners took a similar attitude to Cameron. We called it the elephant garden, because of what was hidden there. We lost quite a few cricket balls to them over the years.
Caroline, the Gees’ 1995 Volvo – I’ve never quite understood the concept of giving cars names. I love my car dearly, but I would no more give it a name than I would the TV set. Not attacking the concept, merely pointing out one of the flaws in my nature that sometimes make me wonder if I’m really human at all. (C’mon, if the Doctor can have a daughter…)
Now we’re home Mrs Gee is surfing online forums about guinea pigs – given the rest of the post, is this as in guinea pigs to eat? I gather they are quite tasty, though I can’t imagine there is much meat on one.
Caroline wasn’t named by me, but by my elder daughter, then aged about three. The name comes from Thomas The Tank Engine, in which all the vehicles are named, not jut the trains. I believe that the original Caroline is owned by The Fat Controller … no, don’t even go there.
Guinea-pigs – no, not to eat, but we need more horse guinea-pig power for the EcoMo™.
@Bora – as I well know from our recent interactions – as a farmer, you’d be a natural. In years to come I look forward to a guided tour round the Zivkovic Dude Ranch.
My wife would want to keep this pet (born last Tuesday in our local zoo):
There are a few issues we haven’t solved yet.
Aaah, Martin, that is so cute. I’ll look after it when you and your wife are on holiday.
Martin – I won’t show that picture to Gee Minima. When I got her off the subject of puppies, she said the animals she most enjoyed seeing at the smallholding were the baby lambs and the baby geese. A baby elephant would be too much to resist, and I don’t think I could stand the sulks and the tantrums.
My daughter has always loved cats. So we got one. And another one. And another one. Then she made an announcement that she now loves llamas. I have, so far, resisted getting one. But, just in case I need it, a local blogger is a llama breeder….
A friend of mine kept ducks when she was at school, which precipitated several visits to her parents by social services. Her teachers just wouldn’t believe that her constant crop of fresh bruises was caused by pecking.
But, just in case I need it, a local blogger is a llama breeder
I could put you in touch with a Norfolk smallholder who keeps alpacas.
Will Alpacas swim across the Atlantic?
Interesting but technically
bonkerschallenging Bora. Does NN’s Noah have an Ark in the garage??As I reported here yesterday, we could call upon the services of Ed and Stu to ferry such creatures across the pond though but it would have to be for a good cause mind.
My mother has long harboured an ambition to keep chickens – and a goat, but it hasn’t been practically possible. However, last year a friend brought this to my attention, so I bought one for Mother’s Day. Although she’s never clapped eyes on it, because it’s somewhere in Africa, was still worthwhile, I think.