A while ago I wrote about research demonstrating that we humans are more closely related to one another than we might at first think – a blog entry that attracted no interest whatsoever, probably because it was about science, and studiously made no mention of religion, politics, punctuation, Bora Zivkovic, the Plurdling of the Grummet-Nadger’s Scrode, Dr. Rohn’s laboratory equipment, or pets.
For example, I always assumed that my pedigree was soundly European and Jewish.
My maternal grandfather came from Katowice, in Silesia; my mother was born in Berlin, and pitched up at Liverpool Street Station, aged 3, on what much have been one of the very last Kinderstransports before the outbreak of war – on 23 August, 1939 (still marked chez Gee as ’Up Yours, Adolf’ Day).
My father is a native Londoner, but his great-grandfather was a cabinet maker called Aaron Israel Ginsberg, who came from the Pale of Settlement in what is now Russia. His son, Grandpa Wolf, made the trip to England sometime in the 1920s or early 1930s.
Of my ancestry before that, I know nothing except what I might infer from watching re-runs of Fiddler On The Roof.
But, hey, it seems we’re all connected. Imagine my surprise when, just a few moments ago, the following communication plopped into my inbox, courtesy of the Nature Network.
From the Offices of Barrister Williams G. Khan Solicitors, 3rd floor Rue 6,Avenue 11 Cocody Lome Republic of Togo, West Africa
Attention: Henry Gee, Private Message
I am contacting you for the claim of your late uncle fund that was deposited with the Security firm Lome, Togo. I am soliciting for your confidence in this matter, this is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential. Though I know that a contact of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive, but I am assuring you that all will be well since I know everything about your late uncle fund.
I have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this matter. Let me start by introducing myself properly to you. I am Barrister Williams G. Khan, the personal Attorney to your late uncle Engr. P. B. Gee (Snr) a contractor and importer here in lome-Togo. 3 years ago he was involved in a ghasty motor accident along Nouvissi express Road.
He was Banking with Security finance firm Lome Togo and had a closing balance as at the end of september 2004, worth $ 8.5 million usd (Eight Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars).The Security finance firm now expects the Next of Kin to come forward as beneficiary.
Efforts have been made by the management of Security finance firm Togo to get in touch with any of the Deceased Family or Relatives, but they have met with no success. Now the management under the influence of the finance bank Chairman and Members of the Board of directors, has made arrangement for the fund to be declared Unclaimed so that they can share the money amongst themselves.
In order to avert this negative development, as part of my duty, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.
All documents and proof to enable you get this fund will be carefully worked out by me for this claim. I have secured from the probate an order of Mandamus to locate any of the deceased beneficiaries, and more so am assuring you that this claim is 100% risk free.
On the receipt of your response i will furnish you with detailed clarification as it relates to this mutual benefit transaction. Call me upon receipt of this information.
Yours faithfully,
Barristers Williams G. Khan
Now, it sometimes happens that people who meet me for the first time are surprised on being confronted by a great hairy white man, and say that from my name they’d always assumed I was Chinese. In a similar vein, I can cheerfully say that suspicions that I am related to Cecil Gee are a load of superannuated shoe manufacturers. This is because my surname is a new mutation specific to my lineage – my paternal grandfather changed it from Ginsberg in the 1930s.
Because of this I am fairly sure that I do not have a relative named Gee who was (until recently) a resident of West Africa, though I am of course desolated to hear of his tragic accident.
Personally, I blame the aliens.
So that’s why you changed your profile photo!
As for your post, I discussed it in person with some colleagues who may well have lurked without commenting. The Rohde paper made the rounds once more in 2008.
Someone else wrote this, but you shouldn’t mistake lack of comments for lack of interest.
Oh, and my great-grandfather (grandfather being the youngest of 12) at around the same time, changed his name from Liebermann to Lee. That went over more easily in America, where it was a fairly non-ethnically imbued choice.
So that’s the history of your name. I thought you came from a family of marvelers.
My last name has provided people with hours of fun over the course of my lifetime. Everybody thinks they’re the first to notice, too, or to crack the always hilarious “Are you a crook?” usually followed by a gesture of surrender.
Then there was the time the national video chain store Blockbuster decided to use my name as a training tool for spotting video thieves. I went in to sign up for a rental card. The poor girl behind the counter typed my name into the computer, stared for a moment, and froze. After a few tries, she managed to squeek the manager’s name. He came over, looked at the computer screen, and almost called the cops, before he realized he was looking at a training screen and I hadn’t really stolen twenty videos from their store.
@Jeff – well, I believe you, but thousands wouldn’t…
It was more like ten, tops.
You’ve got yourself a minyan, which is more than enough for a conspiracy theory…
Only if you’re crazy.
Ok, where do I sign up?