I have now repeated my preliminary results in triplicate, thereby validating my hypothesis (n=4). Please publish my results in Nature at the next available opportunity. I am happy to name any one of my tomatoes after Henry.
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rENNISance woman
Matt Brown said: "You can blog about whatever you wish, as long as it is related to science and research". His wish is my command! Here are some snippets from my life as a cancer research grant writer in Vancouver. Mostly the funny bits.
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I can has Nature paper?
- Date:
- Friday, 15 Aug ust 2008 - 22:15 UTC
Last updated: Friday, 15 Aug 2008 - 22:15 UTC
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Comments
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I’m waiting for the first Nature paper in LOL- or txt- speak.
aw, stupid, stupid, stupid textism. When can we have decent blogging software?
That ‘or txt’ above should not have been bestrickened. Serves me right for not using proper em dashes?
If I were manager of Nature I would include at least one lol speak paper in each issue. Imagine the size of the untapped market of teenagers. And imagine how much money they have to spend, or at least, imagine how much of their parent’s budget they spend!
Many advertisement possibilities.
Dear Dr Ennis
Thank you for your manuscript entitled “The Darwinian Approach to Solanum lycopersicum cultivation”. Please be aware that I am a Servant of the Secret Fire, and (nobless oblige) a Wielder of the Flame of Anor. I regret to say, therefore, that your manuscript must Get Back to the Shadow, Flame of Udun!
Part of the reason is envy. My non-Darwinian approach to the propagation of Solanum etc etc has resulted in more fruits than yours (N=5) but two (N=2) have succumbed to blossom-end rot and after treatment with bordeaux mixture the other three (N=3) remain green and show no signes of ripening. And that’s for a dozen (N=12) pampered plants. So I don’t see why anyone else should have a good time.
I am sorry to be the bearer of what must be disappointing news.
Sincerely
Dr Henry Gee
Senior Editor
Nature
PS You Cannot Pass!!
Not even if I draw facial hair and glasses on one of the tomatoes?
Gandalf doesn’t wear glasses. He’s a wizard, dammit.
I was talking about Henry the Tomato, damnit.
I did once hear a children’s story, read on the radio, about a tomato called Boris.
I did once hear a children’s story, read on the radio, about a tomato called Boris.
Boris: It was me! ;-)
Boris, are you really a tomato? Perhaps Cath can send her paper to you, then… :)
OK Henry, this is gonna make you really jealous. I just pulled up my dying pea plants, and found that they had been harbouring strangers in their midst. Namely, four tomato plants that I didn’t even know were there. I think there must have been some seeds in the compost I spread in the Spring. They look taller, greener and healthier than the ones I’d actually been taking care of, and one of them has four flowers and one teeny tiny tomato. The others are just starting to bud. I’m not sure if they’ll get enough sun in what remains of the summer to ripen properly, but I’m hopeful…
+++Intermission+++
I’m currently 2/3rd’s way through this month’s major cook-up (puff-huff) but thought I would drop by for a sec.
Munch on this – NEW JERSEY JOURNAL; TOMATOE CHAMPION
Must
pissdash off to squeeze in some freshlemmingslimes to my Thai curries.What, no photos of the winning tomato? And was that a deliberate Quayle-ism Graham?!
I went to the “world” championship leek growing competition once, on a rare visit to the town of my birth (Ashington, Northumberland). It was, um, interesting.
They look taller, greener and healthier than the ones I’d actually been taking care of, and one of them has four flowers and one teeny tiny tomato
Bastards. Bastards bastards bastards.
Graham’s comment reminded me of something that happened yesterday. Me, Gee Minor, Gee Minima, Marmite, Fred and Caroline were on the way to the vet for Marmite and Fred’s annual checkup.
Yesterday.
On the way, Gee Minima said she wanted to be an actress. “You’d be a good actress,” said Gee Minor, “you’d Capture the Nation’s Hearts.”
For her part, Gee Minor (she of the Unicycling Girrafes) said she wanted to investigate the nature of peoples’ minds and why they fell in love.
“Cognitive neuroscience”, I said.
“No pressure,” I continued, “but I expect one of you to win a Best-Actress Oscar, the other to win a Nobel Prize.”
“Didn’t Alexandra Lemming win the Nobel Prize?” asked Gee Minor.
Henry: Boris, are you really a tomato? Perhaps Cath can send her paper to you, then… :)
Boris: Regrettably not, now I am a ketchup (a little bit hot)… ketchups, notably, have not as fresh
tastemind as tomatoes do.I just ate some tomatoes from my back garden. If I knew you needed a greater n, I would happily have mailed them to you.
Nature papers zero, delicious garnish 1.
Alexandra Lemming (or Alexander Lemming) sounds like a great name for the sort of scientist who joins he 537 other scientists to starts working in an area the moment it looks sexy.
Thanks Bob, that was awesome!
See also “How many biologists does it take to fix a radio?” here.