Incredible! I have discovered something that inspires even more prevarication than writing. It’s mowing the lawn! Now what else can I find to do to avoid it…
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Popsci
Popular science writer Brian Clegg's blog.
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Prevarication
- Date:
- Saturday, 24 May 2008 - 15:33 GMT
Last updated: Saturday, 24 May 2008 - 15:33 GMT
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Comments
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Get the dwarf hamsters to mow the lawn for you?
I agree with Henry. Lots of opportunity for prevarication as you potter around working out how large the cage should be, how to make it, what non-toxic colour of paint you need etc.
By the time you’ve sorted that out, the grass will be so long you’ll have to prevaricate over what species of ungulate you’ll need to chew it down to being short enough for the hamsters.
I almost wish I had a lawn now. It sounds so much fun.
By the time you’ve sorted that out, the grass will be so long you’ll have to prevaricate over what species of ungulate you’ll need to chew it down to being short enough for the hamsters.
Alpacas. You know it makes sense. By then you’ll be worrying about the right way to shear them, what to do with all the wool once they are sheared, and whether alpaca spit works as a slug-repellent.
Wonderful solutions, but not to the right problem, which was probably best specified as ‘how to get the lawn cut yesterday, before the rain, without doing any work.’ Sadly I had to drop the last four words and do it the old fashioned way.
What, with your teeth?
Seriously, Brian, cutting the grass is one of those things that were thought good to do in the 1950s and 1960s, but which we now have reason to think are actually harmful. Things like
and so on.
Grass should be cut regularly, but not too short. Flaying grass to less than an inch is okay for well-maintained bowling greens or cricket pitches, but a slightly longer cut will allow the grass to retain moisture and necessary biodiversity.
If they are not too long, it’s also a good idea to leave the trimmings on the ground as a mulch.
cutting the grass is one of those things that were thought good [...] but which we now have reason to think are actually harmful.
Which is why I never iron anything any more. Cutting down CO2 emissions, see? (And when my formal dress includes a kilt , who needs an iron?)
Which is why I never iron anything any more.
I do that.
I’ve also turned so old and domestic, I was out gardening yesterday, in amongst the cat poo in my vegetable patch. I’m thinking of getting a couple of lins to cut the grass, will that work?
Dead link Richard. I didnae ken you were a Scot !!
I so agree about ironing. It’s one of those pastimes of yesterday, alongside mangling and boiling things for hours in vinegar and linseed oil. Dreadful things to do to a kilt, especially if you’re wearing it at the time.
A good excuse for not mowing the lawn is that it might be cruel to the grass. One has to ask the Swiss Bioethics Council for a ruling before one can proceed.
I fear that a similar excuse will not do for ironing: if anyone can think of one please let me know as it is one of my least favourite weekend duties. (I do as much “how about wearing your shirt under your jumper and not taking your jumper off?” as I can think of.
The way to get out of ironing is to wear clothes that don’t need it. Hawaiian shirts are good. And I never need to iron my crocs.
Just this afternoon I have collected all the shirts I have that are not ‘non-iron’ and designated them for the charity shop. If its needs ironing it just doesn’t get worn.
I should add a clarification: I don’t bother with ironing my own clothes (the crumpled look is trendy,I gather. Or say.). It is “other people’s” that are the problem.
Not a lot of solutions, Maxine. Iron them at strange hours during episodes of insomnia, or if you ever watch TV and can still stay on your two feet. Get each family member to do their own. Hire someone to do it for you. I’ve tried all of the above, and only the last solution is anything I can count on. And slowly renew your wardrobe with part-plastic (and no linen-blend) materials.
Thanks, Heather ;-)
I like the idea of plastic school shirts.
If you hang things properly while still damp, you’ll never have to iron again. I bought an iron and board when I started a new job a few years ago, used them once, and then consigned them to gather dust in the garage instead.
I don’t even seem to have got the “hang” of that, Cath, even after so many years of attempting to get the better of the ironing function. How do people fold up shirts in that scarily neat and perfect way? I have often wondered…..from afar, as it were (metaphorically speaking).
ironing? you mean to say you have ectoparasites still after all the washing?
I tend to go for linen – crumpled is the natural look, so no point in ironing. But then I still find this country so cold that I never take my jumper off anyway …